...but every morning, some new shred of "evidence" prods me to just try one more time, to see if what God said would come true...now.
So, it is not like I am focusing on people or on being famous;-I am actually always trying something out then saying to God, "Now what do I do?" since, of course, I acknowledge that God is in charge of everything, and me trying to make my own way would be me wrestling control from Him and doing what everyone else who says God is Lord has done;- adding the codicil ..."but I myself matter, so look to me as well".
I was kinda worried that HISTORY seemed so full of myself, my story, me, me, me, but then I relaxed a bit when I realised that telling people about God would make no difference anyway; what people need are facts, so I will limit my work from now on to pure dry, scientific fact, because otherwise I would, by directly mentioning God, also have to speak about myself.
Now, I am a shy guy...really; in the sense that I hate being the centre of attention, so I have decided that I will handle the scientific work in this way: I will focus on driving the mathematical facts home, for the stated US$500m, on one condition:
Total media blackout on my activities
The reason for this is simple:- being hounded brings out the beast in me, and I would seek to retaliate, so, like the guy in the book, "Wet Work" who, when he lost his granddaughter, decided to get payback not only from the person who had forced drugs on her, but the supplier all the way back to the source; I would therefore have to dig deep and seek reparation not only from the person who exposed me, but also from the "system" that allows that...and, like anything I set my mind to, I would therefore have to be thorough and leave nothing undone in my effort to extract satisfaction.
Now, I am not interested in making anyone's life miserable, so, once I get the requisite number of women in my life, I will periodically show them to the world, with the question everytime, "Does anyone of you want to go back?", and if so, I will let those who want to depart, do so, with sufficient financial backing to make sure that the person does not have to start from scratch, but I must say that, primarily, the function of these women would be to keep me from sleeping at nights...because the past few days I have slept, and frankly, I have liked sleeping, and when I sleep I tend to forget the matters of life, and roll over and play dead.This may sound weird to anyone but in all my 30 years I have never gone on a complete shutdown as I have in the past few days, and the thing is, sleep can become quite addictive, and I would be really very inclined towards sleeping, for ever...
Unfortunately, I can not, not even to die, so I have to have diversions that keep me up...literally and figuratively... at nights, and yeah, I have chosen several women, and THEY may think me arrogant, but then, I am not thinking only of now, but of a year, two years to come, and THEY will then see what I meant...since women tend to be as nearsighted as moles...and grudgingly acknowledge that the so-called "equality" of the sexes does not cut ice...with me, and let me be.
Anyway, on their bright side will be the undisputed fact that they get to be totally "irresponsible" for anything else, except to keep me interested and not unhappy, so they can wear what they like and do as they please, provided they wear no makeup, since I always like to read faces and having to try to peel through layers of superimposed "beauty treatments" would raise the critic in me.
It also goes without saying that they have to let go any and all previous attachments, and that anytime they feel they can not handle my terms they will be free to depart, without acrimony.
Now, I feel like I have said enough. I feel sleepy, and I would just like to curl-up and go into a deep slumber....for a long, long time.
So, it is not like I am focusing on people or on being famous;-I am actually always trying something out then saying to God, "Now what do I do?" since, of course, I acknowledge that God is in charge of everything, and me trying to make my own way would be me wrestling control from Him and doing what everyone else who says God is Lord has done;- adding the codicil ..."but I myself matter, so look to me as well".
I was kinda worried that HISTORY seemed so full of myself, my story, me, me, me, but then I relaxed a bit when I realised that telling people about God would make no difference anyway; what people need are facts, so I will limit my work from now on to pure dry, scientific fact, because otherwise I would, by directly mentioning God, also have to speak about myself.
Now, I am a shy guy...really; in the sense that I hate being the centre of attention, so I have decided that I will handle the scientific work in this way: I will focus on driving the mathematical facts home, for the stated US$500m, on one condition:
Total media blackout on my activities
The reason for this is simple:- being hounded brings out the beast in me, and I would seek to retaliate, so, like the guy in the book, "Wet Work" who, when he lost his granddaughter, decided to get payback not only from the person who had forced drugs on her, but the supplier all the way back to the source; I would therefore have to dig deep and seek reparation not only from the person who exposed me, but also from the "system" that allows that...and, like anything I set my mind to, I would therefore have to be thorough and leave nothing undone in my effort to extract satisfaction.
Now, I am not interested in making anyone's life miserable, so, once I get the requisite number of women in my life, I will periodically show them to the world, with the question everytime, "Does anyone of you want to go back?", and if so, I will let those who want to depart, do so, with sufficient financial backing to make sure that the person does not have to start from scratch, but I must say that, primarily, the function of these women would be to keep me from sleeping at nights...because the past few days I have slept, and frankly, I have liked sleeping, and when I sleep I tend to forget the matters of life, and roll over and play dead.This may sound weird to anyone but in all my 30 years I have never gone on a complete shutdown as I have in the past few days, and the thing is, sleep can become quite addictive, and I would be really very inclined towards sleeping, for ever...
Unfortunately, I can not, not even to die, so I have to have diversions that keep me up...literally and figuratively... at nights, and yeah, I have chosen several women, and THEY may think me arrogant, but then, I am not thinking only of now, but of a year, two years to come, and THEY will then see what I meant...since women tend to be as nearsighted as moles...and grudgingly acknowledge that the so-called "equality" of the sexes does not cut ice...with me, and let me be.
Anyway, on their bright side will be the undisputed fact that they get to be totally "irresponsible" for anything else, except to keep me interested and not unhappy, so they can wear what they like and do as they please, provided they wear no makeup, since I always like to read faces and having to try to peel through layers of superimposed "beauty treatments" would raise the critic in me.
It also goes without saying that they have to let go any and all previous attachments, and that anytime they feel they can not handle my terms they will be free to depart, without acrimony.
Now, I feel like I have said enough. I feel sleepy, and I would just like to curl-up and go into a deep slumber....for a long, long time.
