One has no idea just how ... unhappy, to put it mildly... I have been the past few days, especially as it has seemed that God appeared to be muscling in on me and taking over.
I went through the roof, especially yesterday, when the implications of my statement, that God is the One who executes vengeance... Him alone... sank in.
I mean, I have been summarily dealing out whatever I thought everyone deserved, because I never approached anyone, nor cared enough about anyone to seek the person, but EVERYTIME some fool strayed into my personal space, and started taking ME for a fool. So, always, I retaliated, and now it appeared that God was saying... just turn your back on it, there's a good boy, and I will sort out your problems for you.
HELL, no. I would NOT back down. My argument with God has always been, "With all due respect, I am never going to lie down so that You can take over, so would you like to kill me now so that we get it over with, or do You want to prove Your power later?".
So, last night I let Him have a piece of my mind...actually, I poured out everything to Him, and in the morning, I said, to hell with this, if He gets tired of me He can always kill me. I never asked for this, nor did I ever cry out to Him to come and take charge of my life. He said, when I asked Him what He wanted of me, that I should not pretend to be what I was not, but be myself, and in fact, way before that He quoted that line of the poem to me,
"What tangled webs we weave,
when first we learn to deceive"
So, after cooling down and 'ignoring' the obvious, I started reasoning that He knew me completely, and therefore knew also that I was not interested in being directed by anyone, so, He must have had this in mind when He 'agreed' to ten women.
For what were they? Well, yesterday was the whole point, was it not? Yesterday, I ceased to have even the least romantic attachment to Michelle, and put her squarely in the category of my enemies. It took ten women who had nothing to do with her to make me realise just how much I hated the woman, and wanted to make her pay.
Anyway, the vision was something like this... A black, loud flying thing...and I mean LOUD, like an F-22, LOUD... with flat top and no possible way it ought to be flying, not being in any way aerodynamic... shot straight towards the flat-topped rock known as Noah's Ark, just off Boulder's Beach, and it was about to hover, or land, on the rock, when out of its sides came two wings, one on either side, which looked like bat's wings. and when God immediately diverted my attention by asking, "Tell Me what you want from Me", I said, "Ten million dollars, to build that thing"
The dollars thing was easy, at first... the Holy Spirit had said she was "one in a million", since she is a Christian, so I wanted ten women who were NOT Christians and were not in any way linked to her to rub his nose in it. Since, from the beginning, it was God who made the woman for the man, He was therefore the one to go to for that, as I can never go looking for any woman...ever. I only look for trouble, and whatever I start, is always headed ultimately for no good. So, on Sunday He 'supplied' the last one, and what she did was act as a catalyst to make me 'get over' literally, Michelle, and decide that I was NOW about to REALLY make her pay... as well as the little imp she paraded as her boyfriend.
The idiot, after hearing that he was scot-free [whatever that means] yesterday, decided to run around Simonstown in broad daylight, I saw him, at midday, and stopped, and there and then decided I was going to do something about him.
I like his sister, so, for her sake, I am giving him 5 days to leave for Zimbabwe, five being the number of months I have stewed over this, to get to this point.
Or he dies, horribly, by my hands. And I will leave his body right in the open and challenge whoseover wishes to to defy me, for that.
That brings, if the lady wants to, my tally to 11.
This morning, I sat outside the library, waiting for it to open, and there was this nice-looking woman who was busy reading the notices, and as i looked at her I realised I would always be a collector, of beautiful things, and women, but that for one to be 'safe' with me she had to acknowledge the one thing that every woman of a 'divided' mind seems to forget, or overlook... my 'appreciation' is based on a woman's fear of me. A woman who has had sex, I noticed, mistakes my looking at her as being merely liking her looks, since she would have 'experienced' the effects of a man's 'liking' for her, so THAT means she does not read the warning signs till it is too late, and starts wanting to draw me to carry on focusing on her till my anger can not be contained.
God broke the mould when I was born. There has never been, nor will there ever be, anyone like me.
With that in mind, I have to say that I was therefore, 'mistaken' about the only woman in my whole life to ever really look at me, and that was the one who came to Long Beach that Saturday, and looked so steadfastky at me I was shaken, and confused, I would have said she wanted sympathy, but she was too self-conatined for that, and her action before all that made me realise that she knew exactly what I was thinking, and the conclusions I would rush to, and yet she did it anyway. I was wrong...and well, to be honest, her face does not looke angry...I was trying to justify letting her go.
to be truthful, I found her quite sexy, in a reserved way, the type of way that brings out, not the beast but the best in you... of course, I hated the exposure, but what the heck, I do not stand on ceremony... I like her. She is the 12th
Then there are these also, "Shopaholic Girl" Book girl, hey the title was very suggestive, Diving girl, tanned girl, and the 'divorced' girl. Hey, I liked what I saw, but comeon, sixteen is the limit, dont you think?
I went through the roof, especially yesterday, when the implications of my statement, that God is the One who executes vengeance... Him alone... sank in.
I mean, I have been summarily dealing out whatever I thought everyone deserved, because I never approached anyone, nor cared enough about anyone to seek the person, but EVERYTIME some fool strayed into my personal space, and started taking ME for a fool. So, always, I retaliated, and now it appeared that God was saying... just turn your back on it, there's a good boy, and I will sort out your problems for you.
HELL, no. I would NOT back down. My argument with God has always been, "With all due respect, I am never going to lie down so that You can take over, so would you like to kill me now so that we get it over with, or do You want to prove Your power later?".
So, last night I let Him have a piece of my mind...actually, I poured out everything to Him, and in the morning, I said, to hell with this, if He gets tired of me He can always kill me. I never asked for this, nor did I ever cry out to Him to come and take charge of my life. He said, when I asked Him what He wanted of me, that I should not pretend to be what I was not, but be myself, and in fact, way before that He quoted that line of the poem to me,
"What tangled webs we weave,
when first we learn to deceive"
So, after cooling down and 'ignoring' the obvious, I started reasoning that He knew me completely, and therefore knew also that I was not interested in being directed by anyone, so, He must have had this in mind when He 'agreed' to ten women.
For what were they? Well, yesterday was the whole point, was it not? Yesterday, I ceased to have even the least romantic attachment to Michelle, and put her squarely in the category of my enemies. It took ten women who had nothing to do with her to make me realise just how much I hated the woman, and wanted to make her pay.
Anyway, the vision was something like this... A black, loud flying thing...and I mean LOUD, like an F-22, LOUD... with flat top and no possible way it ought to be flying, not being in any way aerodynamic... shot straight towards the flat-topped rock known as Noah's Ark, just off Boulder's Beach, and it was about to hover, or land, on the rock, when out of its sides came two wings, one on either side, which looked like bat's wings. and when God immediately diverted my attention by asking, "Tell Me what you want from Me", I said, "Ten million dollars, to build that thing"
The dollars thing was easy, at first... the Holy Spirit had said she was "one in a million", since she is a Christian, so I wanted ten women who were NOT Christians and were not in any way linked to her to rub his nose in it. Since, from the beginning, it was God who made the woman for the man, He was therefore the one to go to for that, as I can never go looking for any woman...ever. I only look for trouble, and whatever I start, is always headed ultimately for no good. So, on Sunday He 'supplied' the last one, and what she did was act as a catalyst to make me 'get over' literally, Michelle, and decide that I was NOW about to REALLY make her pay... as well as the little imp she paraded as her boyfriend.
The idiot, after hearing that he was scot-free [whatever that means] yesterday, decided to run around Simonstown in broad daylight, I saw him, at midday, and stopped, and there and then decided I was going to do something about him.
I like his sister, so, for her sake, I am giving him 5 days to leave for Zimbabwe, five being the number of months I have stewed over this, to get to this point.
Or he dies, horribly, by my hands. And I will leave his body right in the open and challenge whoseover wishes to to defy me, for that.
That brings, if the lady wants to, my tally to 11.
This morning, I sat outside the library, waiting for it to open, and there was this nice-looking woman who was busy reading the notices, and as i looked at her I realised I would always be a collector, of beautiful things, and women, but that for one to be 'safe' with me she had to acknowledge the one thing that every woman of a 'divided' mind seems to forget, or overlook... my 'appreciation' is based on a woman's fear of me. A woman who has had sex, I noticed, mistakes my looking at her as being merely liking her looks, since she would have 'experienced' the effects of a man's 'liking' for her, so THAT means she does not read the warning signs till it is too late, and starts wanting to draw me to carry on focusing on her till my anger can not be contained.
God broke the mould when I was born. There has never been, nor will there ever be, anyone like me.
With that in mind, I have to say that I was therefore, 'mistaken' about the only woman in my whole life to ever really look at me, and that was the one who came to Long Beach that Saturday, and looked so steadfastky at me I was shaken, and confused, I would have said she wanted sympathy, but she was too self-conatined for that, and her action before all that made me realise that she knew exactly what I was thinking, and the conclusions I would rush to, and yet she did it anyway. I was wrong...and well, to be honest, her face does not looke angry...I was trying to justify letting her go.
to be truthful, I found her quite sexy, in a reserved way, the type of way that brings out, not the beast but the best in you... of course, I hated the exposure, but what the heck, I do not stand on ceremony... I like her. She is the 12th
Then there are these also, "Shopaholic Girl" Book girl, hey the title was very suggestive, Diving girl, tanned girl, and the 'divorced' girl. Hey, I liked what I saw, but comeon, sixteen is the limit, dont you think?
