The Following Conversation took place over a period of 14 years, with long periods of silence a DEEP cogitation in between, and was between a Chameleon and his Uninvited Guest.
For simplicity we will call The Guest The Holy Spirit and the Chameleon is Prince.
THS: Seek not at night what you can not find in daylight,
and seek not in daylight what you can not find at night.
P: And what do I seek? I have tried to find out and all I come up with are big blank areas. I thought it was Your love, or Your acceptance, or a woman's love, or her acceptance, but none of these things fill in all the gaps... WHAT am I?
THS: You seek what You can not find, and for that you reject all that is before you, and till you open your eyes to what is there, and stop being what you are not, you will ever be at war with yourself.
P:And will You stand by and just watch? Every time I take matters into my own hands, people get hurt, and You LET it happen?You could...stop me, and let me die! I am a freak, a person who fits nowhere, a person whom YOU let loose to run around making messes in others' lives, and YOU know You have the power to stop me, but You will not!
THS: You wage war against Me, not because I came to you, but because you do not want to open your eyes and see what is before you... you will not admit that you are as much in need of hope as everyone else, and you think your ways are not plain before Me. You say you seek death, but before I came you went on with life,hiding in the background but tried to die only when I revealed you would not, and now you try to get people to do for you what I told you would not happen.
You seek to force me to do in the open what I would not do when no one knew of you, and you drive off the one you love because you think she does not bleed for you, and even she sees you as you really are, and for all that you keep on fighting. When will you give it a rest? Peace, be still, and take what I freely offer. Then you will know true rest.
P: I never asked for this, nor for You to "bestir" Yourself to come into my life, and yet You did, and now I MUST follow where I never asked to be led? You started something which I must just accept as irreversible and carry on with? Every one of Your words I have looked into, and You give everyone a choice in life, in the path they take, but not me, not in anything, and I must just accept the path You lay out for me, and DECIDE to take it as though mine? You plunge me in the thick of things, and I must just take the spotlight as if I welcome it, and it was all my idea? No, I can not! I will not, and if I have to fight till my last breath JUST BECAUSE OF THAT FACT, that you gave me NO CHOICE, then so be it. I will NEVER do anything You expect of me, except by accident, and NEVER will I follow You, until the day I get to freely choose for myself...or You get tired of me and kill me...
Rest on YOUR terms is not my idea of true rest.
So, if I have to go through anything and everything just so that I do NOT do anything You want, except by extracting a heavy toll, then I will do just that, because You thrust things at me, and left me holding on to the responsibility of something I never asked for, and something I do not want, so, I will, with each breath, show just how ANGRY I am that you did not even allow me to decide for myself...ANYTHING.
For simplicity we will call The Guest The Holy Spirit and the Chameleon is Prince.
and seek not in daylight what you can not find at night.
THS: You wage war against Me, not because I came to you, but because you do not want to open your eyes and see what is before you... you will not admit that you are as much in need of hope as everyone else, and you think your ways are not plain before Me. You say you seek death, but before I came you went on with life,hiding in the background but tried to die only when I revealed you would not, and now you try to get people to do for you what I told you would not happen.
You seek to force me to do in the open what I would not do when no one knew of you, and you drive off the one you love because you think she does not bleed for you, and even she sees you as you really are, and for all that you keep on fighting. When will you give it a rest? Peace, be still, and take what I freely offer. Then you will know true rest.
Rest on YOUR terms is not my idea of true rest.
So, if I have to go through anything and everything just so that I do NOT do anything You want, except by extracting a heavy toll, then I will do just that, because You thrust things at me, and left me holding on to the responsibility of something I never asked for, and something I do not want, so, I will, with each breath, show just how ANGRY I am that you did not even allow me to decide for myself...ANYTHING.
