This is a matter of race, and why, as a black man in a white-studded world, I have been unable to just "BE MYSELF" and let loose as I want to, and why, today, I declare that the racial issue will NOT bind me anymore.
I live, as some may have noticed, a God-defying life, and have spent most of the past half of my life trying to get out from under His thumb, and hating every moment that I have had to turn away from a set course simply because, while I may have cruised away from a situation, other people may have gotten hurt.
After leaving home in 2008, I spent time in the winelands of De-Doorns, and there came across what was for me the first taste of prejudice based on ethnic background. Hey, I am not naive, and i knew that the half-castes, the "Couloured" people who are the bastards of white-black mating, thought they were a notch above the "darkies", as more conventional balck people were called, and therefore I had made up my mind NOT to mingle with these...except, of course for their women, who, lets face it, are foxy and sexy as hell.
But that was not what I meant.
I was working with some Suthu guys in the grape-farms, and for some days I endured the tounting of a particular chap, and said nothing to him, because people have never been that much of an influence in my life. But one day, he said something to me when I was not really keeping a tight fist on my temper, and I snapped and manhandled him and caused him to eat dust, literally. [Well, you get you fun however you can, right?]
I realised what a stupid thing I had done the moment his crew came against me, because if I fought them, and they were about seven or eight to one, and I beat them up [its not bragging, I live for fighting, and I am yet to come across a person who would make me back off and cower] than the whole crazy mob of Suthu guys with their gumboots would take their vengeance on my not-so-reckless countrymen.
Still, for that day, I stood my ground and relative calm was restored...those were the days when xenophobia was still having its birth pangs... but when I was at home I decided to skip work the following day, and avoid further inflaming a situation that would give me nothing but the fleeting satisfaction of breaking a few teeth and becoming less of a chameleon than I already was.
Some thought me a coward, but if I had stood my ground, then I could have single-handedly have been the cause of xenophobic attacks on my weak-bellied countrymen.
Which brings me to my issue about "COUNTING NUMBERS". This world is academically stuffed, head-to-toe, with white ideals, and white superiority, and white dogma...and KNOWING as I do what is wrong with that brand of thinking, I have hithertoe tried a soft- approach, not wanting to rock the boat, because if I had been white, then I could have just done as I pleased, since we all know that white people are the craziest, and least practical, people around.They are inherently short sighted and never think of the consequences of their actions, in the long term
But because everyone looks down the nose at the black man, and assumes that because he is black then he is as ignorant as the people who are in deep darkness, I have had a tremendous battle to just NOT do the destructive things i have been growing inclined to do to topple this lopsided academic structure and replace it with real learning.
That is in the past.
From tomorrow, I am going to systematically destroy the academic world, and do so in a deeply comprehensive and thorough way, and I promise just one thing...
IT IS GOING TO HURT. A LOT!
I live, as some may have noticed, a God-defying life, and have spent most of the past half of my life trying to get out from under His thumb, and hating every moment that I have had to turn away from a set course simply because, while I may have cruised away from a situation, other people may have gotten hurt.
After leaving home in 2008, I spent time in the winelands of De-Doorns, and there came across what was for me the first taste of prejudice based on ethnic background. Hey, I am not naive, and i knew that the half-castes, the "Couloured" people who are the bastards of white-black mating, thought they were a notch above the "darkies", as more conventional balck people were called, and therefore I had made up my mind NOT to mingle with these...except, of course for their women, who, lets face it, are foxy and sexy as hell.
But that was not what I meant.
I was working with some Suthu guys in the grape-farms, and for some days I endured the tounting of a particular chap, and said nothing to him, because people have never been that much of an influence in my life. But one day, he said something to me when I was not really keeping a tight fist on my temper, and I snapped and manhandled him and caused him to eat dust, literally. [Well, you get you fun however you can, right?]
I realised what a stupid thing I had done the moment his crew came against me, because if I fought them, and they were about seven or eight to one, and I beat them up [its not bragging, I live for fighting, and I am yet to come across a person who would make me back off and cower] than the whole crazy mob of Suthu guys with their gumboots would take their vengeance on my not-so-reckless countrymen.
Still, for that day, I stood my ground and relative calm was restored...those were the days when xenophobia was still having its birth pangs... but when I was at home I decided to skip work the following day, and avoid further inflaming a situation that would give me nothing but the fleeting satisfaction of breaking a few teeth and becoming less of a chameleon than I already was.
Some thought me a coward, but if I had stood my ground, then I could have single-handedly have been the cause of xenophobic attacks on my weak-bellied countrymen.
Which brings me to my issue about "COUNTING NUMBERS". This world is academically stuffed, head-to-toe, with white ideals, and white superiority, and white dogma...and KNOWING as I do what is wrong with that brand of thinking, I have hithertoe tried a soft- approach, not wanting to rock the boat, because if I had been white, then I could have just done as I pleased, since we all know that white people are the craziest, and least practical, people around.They are inherently short sighted and never think of the consequences of their actions, in the long term
But because everyone looks down the nose at the black man, and assumes that because he is black then he is as ignorant as the people who are in deep darkness, I have had a tremendous battle to just NOT do the destructive things i have been growing inclined to do to topple this lopsided academic structure and replace it with real learning.
That is in the past.
From tomorrow, I am going to systematically destroy the academic world, and do so in a deeply comprehensive and thorough way, and I promise just one thing...
IT IS GOING TO HURT. A LOT!
