The irritating thing is that, all I ever wanted was to solve The Goldbach Conjecture when they still offered money for it, and thus take a sizable chunk of it, give it to my mother and say, "Ok, now we are even", and walk away...
But as they say, "the best laid plans of mice and men oft-times go awry", and it can not be truer than this!
Because the first person that stood in my way was the intended beneficiary, who coule not figure out that ANYTHING, even death, was preferable to being in the same place and time zone as she was, and she wanted to have me distinguish myself as an academic so she could, at whim, milk me at leisure.
So, I had to rethink my strategy, and it was at the back-to-the-drawing-board stage that i realised I WAS in the wrong time zone and place, that I had to be in the US or UK, and I was rather frustrated...more so when The Holy Spirit decided to put in his two cents worth and show me how to obtain, "lasting riches"...together with Christ, of course.
I hate Christ.
I hate The Holy Spirit.
I want to be as far away as possible from my mother, so I wont hate her.
I want to pay her back for the nights she spent knitting and struggling so I and my sisters could get a decent education, while my father...well, I actually wonder how he got it in himself to BE a father to begin with.
The point is, based on what I went through, I saw no POINT to the exercise that my mother went through: she hates me, she wishes I was dead, and yet she struggles to make sure I get ahead so she can be "looked after" by me, and once I was old enough to conclude for myself the obvious, all I wanted was to give her what she wanted just so I could have a clean life, or death.
Then God pitches in with "try the falco effect", and later with the statement that I would not die.
Maybe it is that that made me to say, "OK, my life means nothing to me, I want nothing from You, so, take my life and use it as You will"
He was not offended: I was being honest, and I was basically asking what I could do for Him, and if it was not for the intrusion of Christ and The Holy Spirit, I would have less of a story to tell, but they decided to intervene, causing me to wonder if death, with all the finality of having escaped from the clutches of the terrible duo, was not infinitely preferable.
But, try as I might, I did not die, and what is more, I thrived, intellectually, weeding out the inconsequential facts from the truth, till I decided that I might as well do as I had promised and do something for God.
Only to come up against the hard to swallow "certainty" that, in proving that the first mathematician was Daniel I was thereby also undeniably pointing out that the seeds of Christ's Lordship over mankind...and over, for that matter, myself...were also linked to that very person's unusual life.
I hated it, and was about to say, "Hell, no way am I bowing down to this smug and arrogant thief!" when I realised that I did no HAVE to.
For you see, Christ and The Holy Spirit are thieves.
Yes, God was responsible for Daniel's first dream interpretation for the king...because God wanted it known both by the king Nebuchadnezzar and by the people just Who held the reins as far as the suffering of the Jews was concerned, and, since He did not announce His intention to anyone about the dream, but sent it EXACTLY where He intended, you will find that Christ and The Holy Spirit started playing catch up.
The clue is to be found in the fact that Daniel had visions, and they described what would happen, but in noe of these did God speak to the manHimself, but sent messengers... a sign of God's disapproval of the person (the people were after all, being punished for turning from Him)
But what really sparked my interest was what Christ said when Peter, after the transfiguration, asked him why it was written that Elijah would come first.
The Saviour of mankind testily replied that of course Eiljah would come first and restore all things, but what about himself, Christ, how it was written that he would suffer many things and be betrayed and rise again after the third day?
Well, check the prophecies: No where is it written that the son of man would die and rise again.
Actually, the prophecy that comes closest is found in Isaiah 9:1-7, and the "increase of his government will not end" means that the person will not have his authority cut short.
But, as I said, all I wanted was to "look after my mom".
But as they say, "the best laid plans of mice and men oft-times go awry", and it can not be truer than this!
Because the first person that stood in my way was the intended beneficiary, who coule not figure out that ANYTHING, even death, was preferable to being in the same place and time zone as she was, and she wanted to have me distinguish myself as an academic so she could, at whim, milk me at leisure.
So, I had to rethink my strategy, and it was at the back-to-the-drawing-board stage that i realised I WAS in the wrong time zone and place, that I had to be in the US or UK, and I was rather frustrated...more so when The Holy Spirit decided to put in his two cents worth and show me how to obtain, "lasting riches"...together with Christ, of course.
I hate Christ.
I hate The Holy Spirit.
I want to be as far away as possible from my mother, so I wont hate her.
I want to pay her back for the nights she spent knitting and struggling so I and my sisters could get a decent education, while my father...well, I actually wonder how he got it in himself to BE a father to begin with.
The point is, based on what I went through, I saw no POINT to the exercise that my mother went through: she hates me, she wishes I was dead, and yet she struggles to make sure I get ahead so she can be "looked after" by me, and once I was old enough to conclude for myself the obvious, all I wanted was to give her what she wanted just so I could have a clean life, or death.
Then God pitches in with "try the falco effect", and later with the statement that I would not die.
Maybe it is that that made me to say, "OK, my life means nothing to me, I want nothing from You, so, take my life and use it as You will"
He was not offended: I was being honest, and I was basically asking what I could do for Him, and if it was not for the intrusion of Christ and The Holy Spirit, I would have less of a story to tell, but they decided to intervene, causing me to wonder if death, with all the finality of having escaped from the clutches of the terrible duo, was not infinitely preferable.
But, try as I might, I did not die, and what is more, I thrived, intellectually, weeding out the inconsequential facts from the truth, till I decided that I might as well do as I had promised and do something for God.
Only to come up against the hard to swallow "certainty" that, in proving that the first mathematician was Daniel I was thereby also undeniably pointing out that the seeds of Christ's Lordship over mankind...and over, for that matter, myself...were also linked to that very person's unusual life.
I hated it, and was about to say, "Hell, no way am I bowing down to this smug and arrogant thief!" when I realised that I did no HAVE to.
For you see, Christ and The Holy Spirit are thieves.
Yes, God was responsible for Daniel's first dream interpretation for the king...because God wanted it known both by the king Nebuchadnezzar and by the people just Who held the reins as far as the suffering of the Jews was concerned, and, since He did not announce His intention to anyone about the dream, but sent it EXACTLY where He intended, you will find that Christ and The Holy Spirit started playing catch up.
The clue is to be found in the fact that Daniel had visions, and they described what would happen, but in noe of these did God speak to the manHimself, but sent messengers... a sign of God's disapproval of the person (the people were after all, being punished for turning from Him)
But what really sparked my interest was what Christ said when Peter, after the transfiguration, asked him why it was written that Elijah would come first.
The Saviour of mankind testily replied that of course Eiljah would come first and restore all things, but what about himself, Christ, how it was written that he would suffer many things and be betrayed and rise again after the third day?
Well, check the prophecies: No where is it written that the son of man would die and rise again.
Actually, the prophecy that comes closest is found in Isaiah 9:1-7, and the "increase of his government will not end" means that the person will not have his authority cut short.
But, as I said, all I wanted was to "look after my mom".
