Hitherto, I have been having a running debate with The Most High God, but when, yesterday morning, He made a distinct complaint to me, I was ashamed, because he said, "What iniquity did your fathers find in Me?", and THAT was for me the turning point, where everything began to make sense, about Him, about me and Him, and about the decidedly weird things that have been happening in my life, and the things He has been doing.
Because He visited each of my predecessors, my father, grandfather, et.c, and they all rejected Him, curiously enough, all because they chose to be fathers, and thus denied the fact that THEY ought to have known what it felt like to be unwanted and alone in a strange land, and thus should have had compassion on women that appealed to them, and not laid the burden of motherhood on them...since, of course, if one can not look at a woman to appreciate HER, then he can never enhance the appreciation even though he lie to her and convince her to be married to him, in which case he would end up, sooner or later... a father.
Look at Abraham, whom God told to leave his father and his father's house, and go to a land where God would exalt him to inherit the earth. Yet the guy got to a place where he thought God was not, gave up his wife, and put her through hell, and when she came back and was so relieved that she was back in his arms, he was so unhappy about it that her lack of resistance caused him to impregnate her.
The guy Abraham was just 'but dust', and was too intimidated by his wife to ever look her in the eye and be jealous over her, a point which is further echoed by the man after God's heart, David, who when he saw the other guy's wife, took her, and surprised at her lack of resistance, at the fact that she gave in and agreed to his demands because he was king, well, he made her pregnant.
Now, I CANNOT make a woman pregnant, for the simple reason that I have, up till now, carefully selected women that I depise, who despise me, and slept with those, because to me it was inconceivable that there could exist a woman, or women, that I could like, or be jealous over.
TILL NOW.
And I am really, really feeling possessive, especially over this one woman, whom I saw with a wedding ring on her finger. It was not the ring that first caught my eye, it was rather the fact that I have never seen anyone so unhappy and yet so... uncomplicated...unvindictive... about it, as though she has found life to be so disillusioning that she has stopped even bothering to hope... and she is so... sweet, so fragile at the same time, I felt both lust and protectiveness at the same time.
That was the problem, the one that I wanted to solve, and this is how.
I take it as a given that this is God's world, and that He is in charge, and that what he said is happening is really happening.
So, if the guy who thought me presumptuous, the little butt-head who is Michelle's friend's brother REALLY has gone to Zimbabwe, I assume that he had a house, and that the sister has access to the keys.
Now, where the sister is concerned, I would be lying if I said I would sweep everything under the rug, like she was not a part of the whole humiliation thing, but on the other hand, I am also aware of my nature, that if I start punishing someone for something, they would end up paying a billion dollars for a five cent offence, so, I want a clean slate on this one.
I am still angry, very angry, but I need to seperate anger and... the other thing [appreciation?]... so, I am telling HER to hand over the keys in person at her earliest convenience, so that I can take the edge off my jealousy by spending time with the married girl, who I think, will be 'called' by God as soon as that happens.
I can not go looking for her, nor can I let her remain the way she is, because when she looked at me, I was... touched.
Nor, for that matter, can I let her mix with anyone else...not yet... because while I have the...resilience... to bulldoze my way through just about anything, I think she would collapse if I just treated her like she is just anybody I lust for.
That is not to say that I am not awre of the other nine, but the awareness also borders on less unease because they are not living with anyone who is telling them to open their legs...yes? [God, I hope not! That would be to kill me!I mean He is my friend, and was jealous over Abraham's wife (yeah, because HE had a vested interest, but with me He has unequivocally stated that MY problems are HIS, so...) so I take it he would keep a jealous eye over the rest as well]
So, I want her freed.
As for the rest, here is where I get very wacky.
The only one I am yet to see in 3D is Michelle's friend, and I would like to see her in person, not only to confirm that I was not speaking in a vacuum, but also to see just how sexy she is, and how God rates me.
As for the rest, I would also, in the interim, like to meet with and chat with...nothing physical, so we all ...ease into this.
All except for the one overseas. Hey, I can not get over, yet, the fact that she was WITH someone when I first saw her, and so, I need to literally get over that.
So, here's the deal.
When he evacuates people from MY place, The American President will also have a log cabin [I have always loved those] built somewhere scenic, with ten bedrooms, all with requisite facilities; a common eating room with a round table for seating eleven, with the bedrooms above the kitchen, eating room and lounge, and a study above that.
He can have people fit in the details, and, the first person to arrive there, will be none other than the Dutch girl, who will wait for me there, and around the place I expect fields, where sheep, cattle and goats can, and should be, installed...maybe about 15 of the one, 30 of the other and 30 of the latter, all with a single male of each.
Yeah, and chicken. Lots of these. In a fowl run.
And an airfield. I want a B-2 and two f119s. No bombs, no special artillery save those for hunting. No dogs, the place fully fenced, paddocked.
And everybody gets to keep their money and goods as they leave.
I will have more specifics with time, but for now I really want this chick in my hands!
Because He visited each of my predecessors, my father, grandfather, et.c, and they all rejected Him, curiously enough, all because they chose to be fathers, and thus denied the fact that THEY ought to have known what it felt like to be unwanted and alone in a strange land, and thus should have had compassion on women that appealed to them, and not laid the burden of motherhood on them...since, of course, if one can not look at a woman to appreciate HER, then he can never enhance the appreciation even though he lie to her and convince her to be married to him, in which case he would end up, sooner or later... a father.
Look at Abraham, whom God told to leave his father and his father's house, and go to a land where God would exalt him to inherit the earth. Yet the guy got to a place where he thought God was not, gave up his wife, and put her through hell, and when she came back and was so relieved that she was back in his arms, he was so unhappy about it that her lack of resistance caused him to impregnate her.
The guy Abraham was just 'but dust', and was too intimidated by his wife to ever look her in the eye and be jealous over her, a point which is further echoed by the man after God's heart, David, who when he saw the other guy's wife, took her, and surprised at her lack of resistance, at the fact that she gave in and agreed to his demands because he was king, well, he made her pregnant.
Now, I CANNOT make a woman pregnant, for the simple reason that I have, up till now, carefully selected women that I depise, who despise me, and slept with those, because to me it was inconceivable that there could exist a woman, or women, that I could like, or be jealous over.
TILL NOW.
And I am really, really feeling possessive, especially over this one woman, whom I saw with a wedding ring on her finger. It was not the ring that first caught my eye, it was rather the fact that I have never seen anyone so unhappy and yet so... uncomplicated...unvindictive... about it, as though she has found life to be so disillusioning that she has stopped even bothering to hope... and she is so... sweet, so fragile at the same time, I felt both lust and protectiveness at the same time.
That was the problem, the one that I wanted to solve, and this is how.
I take it as a given that this is God's world, and that He is in charge, and that what he said is happening is really happening.
So, if the guy who thought me presumptuous, the little butt-head who is Michelle's friend's brother REALLY has gone to Zimbabwe, I assume that he had a house, and that the sister has access to the keys.
Now, where the sister is concerned, I would be lying if I said I would sweep everything under the rug, like she was not a part of the whole humiliation thing, but on the other hand, I am also aware of my nature, that if I start punishing someone for something, they would end up paying a billion dollars for a five cent offence, so, I want a clean slate on this one.
I am still angry, very angry, but I need to seperate anger and... the other thing [appreciation?]... so, I am telling HER to hand over the keys in person at her earliest convenience, so that I can take the edge off my jealousy by spending time with the married girl, who I think, will be 'called' by God as soon as that happens.
I can not go looking for her, nor can I let her remain the way she is, because when she looked at me, I was... touched.
Nor, for that matter, can I let her mix with anyone else...not yet... because while I have the...resilience... to bulldoze my way through just about anything, I think she would collapse if I just treated her like she is just anybody I lust for.
That is not to say that I am not awre of the other nine, but the awareness also borders on less unease because they are not living with anyone who is telling them to open their legs...yes? [God, I hope not! That would be to kill me!I mean He is my friend, and was jealous over Abraham's wife (yeah, because HE had a vested interest, but with me He has unequivocally stated that MY problems are HIS, so...) so I take it he would keep a jealous eye over the rest as well]
So, I want her freed.
As for the rest, here is where I get very wacky.
The only one I am yet to see in 3D is Michelle's friend, and I would like to see her in person, not only to confirm that I was not speaking in a vacuum, but also to see just how sexy she is, and how God rates me.
As for the rest, I would also, in the interim, like to meet with and chat with...nothing physical, so we all ...ease into this.
All except for the one overseas. Hey, I can not get over, yet, the fact that she was WITH someone when I first saw her, and so, I need to literally get over that.
So, here's the deal.
When he evacuates people from MY place, The American President will also have a log cabin [I have always loved those] built somewhere scenic, with ten bedrooms, all with requisite facilities; a common eating room with a round table for seating eleven, with the bedrooms above the kitchen, eating room and lounge, and a study above that.
He can have people fit in the details, and, the first person to arrive there, will be none other than the Dutch girl, who will wait for me there, and around the place I expect fields, where sheep, cattle and goats can, and should be, installed...maybe about 15 of the one, 30 of the other and 30 of the latter, all with a single male of each.
Yeah, and chicken. Lots of these. In a fowl run.
And an airfield. I want a B-2 and two f119s. No bombs, no special artillery save those for hunting. No dogs, the place fully fenced, paddocked.
And everybody gets to keep their money and goods as they leave.
I will have more specifics with time, but for now I really want this chick in my hands!
