Long live...
you get the drift, right?
I was, along, going by what I thought God wanted me to want, and not what I wanted, and, before I get to today's SHOCKING conclusion of what I want, I will point out a few things about women and motherhood.1) God made the woman at the man's request, but, without the man, a woman can not get pregnant, and the only way for a woman to get pregnant is if the man despises her.
2)God meant it for the woman NOT to suffer too much when she did get pregnant, at first, but then she made the mistake of mixing the man with other things, and as a result, the women today have inherited bitter births... and they actually take it as...natural, but then, they are not unnatural me, are they?
3) Speaking of myself, I have, if one can read backwards, a natural sympathy for women... even, mothers, despite the fact that I have rejected my own, but coupled with that is an absolute intolerance to being despised or...mixed... with any other man, if the woman deigns to look to me.
4) I would prefer a woman who, from first encounter, does not have any other male she looks up to, and that being said, I am sure I can then accommodate whoever, provided she is a blonde.Yes, I said blond and that is exactly what I mean.
All of last night, I was thinking of the women, and I realised that there exist for me only one type of woman that I am attracted to, and the conclusion was reached by elimination of all other types.
I hate black women...memories and customs which no one follows. I prefer white women, but you see, I read faces, and if a woman's face has black eyebrows, I am unable to get past the 'darkening' of the face if she narrows her eyes, and that takes me back to my mother, and THAT is not a good place...for anyone.
And, anyway, the hair, if it shows no trace of aging, means that the woman has not 'settled down' in life, but is more unconventional than the normal darker haired people.
That said, I made up my list of the seven women who 'interested me':1)The Dutch girl
2)The Glencairn Heights girl
3)The other golden haired woman of the same day
4)The white haired girl with the cleft chin, of the day after
5)The girl who, on the phone, spoke politely to her mom, when she was at the library
6)The girl who came to the beach and went out of her way to show me she was not interested in anything but my way
7)The woman with the sweet smile, and blue eyes.All these women did something that has never happened to me with women...without a word, they showed either their interest or how easy it was for them to pick out my mood... something even I could not do, since I almost always live inside my head, and, like a person who lives for war, mostly re-act before I even think about WHY I am doing something, as far as interaction with people is concerned.But, I have to take my hat, literally,[by that I mean I reveal my thoughts] off to three OTHER women, who have HEARD what I have to say, been in a position to blast me off, laugh at me...but did not.And they are all three, related.
1) The first is Nicky?... I do not KNOW if it is her name, but it probably is...the explanation is too long, and requires time of its own.
2)The second I wrote about on Monday,and that is her sister...well she has to be, because she is a dead-ringer for Butt-Head; I suppose I must call him 'Mathews?', because somebody said, when he came the first time to hunt me down, that he caklled himself 'Matthews-something-or-the-other'.
3) The third deserves a long explanation,but i will keep it short, because all I really SAW was that, on Monday, after my post, as i was walking back to Simonstown, this car that Michelle used to track me down with driove past, headed in the opposite direction. Michelle was not at the wheel, but this other lady was, and although I did not turn my head, and she did not have But- I mean Matthews? nose, (thank God), I concluded that she must be his mother. Now, I am easy, and after thinking that she would not leave the task of confronting me to herself if hubby was around, realised that he probably was not around...hopefully dead, or whatever, and anyway, I was already pre-disposed towards her because of the no laughter thing, and taking her and her two daughters would so irritate the little butt-head that I would probably let him live just so that he could be mortally offended, ALTHOUGH I would kill him if he did not live in Zimbabwe, so, I decided that I would take it up with God, wondering if He had aught to say against the decision to take three women like that, and I waited the customary three days before concluding that He had said nothing AGAINST it, and I was not worried.
So, these are the ten. Definitely.
Now, they better make their ways to me while I am still in a good mood!
you get the drift, right?
I was, along, going by what I thought God wanted me to want, and not what I wanted, and, before I get to today's SHOCKING conclusion of what I want, I will point out a few things about women and motherhood.1) God made the woman at the man's request, but, without the man, a woman can not get pregnant, and the only way for a woman to get pregnant is if the man despises her.
2)God meant it for the woman NOT to suffer too much when she did get pregnant, at first, but then she made the mistake of mixing the man with other things, and as a result, the women today have inherited bitter births... and they actually take it as...natural, but then, they are not unnatural me, are they?
3) Speaking of myself, I have, if one can read backwards, a natural sympathy for women... even, mothers, despite the fact that I have rejected my own, but coupled with that is an absolute intolerance to being despised or...mixed... with any other man, if the woman deigns to look to me.
4) I would prefer a woman who, from first encounter, does not have any other male she looks up to, and that being said, I am sure I can then accommodate whoever, provided she is a blonde.Yes, I said blond and that is exactly what I mean.
All of last night, I was thinking of the women, and I realised that there exist for me only one type of woman that I am attracted to, and the conclusion was reached by elimination of all other types.
I hate black women...memories and customs which no one follows. I prefer white women, but you see, I read faces, and if a woman's face has black eyebrows, I am unable to get past the 'darkening' of the face if she narrows her eyes, and that takes me back to my mother, and THAT is not a good place...for anyone.
And, anyway, the hair, if it shows no trace of aging, means that the woman has not 'settled down' in life, but is more unconventional than the normal darker haired people.
That said, I made up my list of the seven women who 'interested me':1)The Dutch girl
2)The Glencairn Heights girl
3)The other golden haired woman of the same day
4)The white haired girl with the cleft chin, of the day after
5)The girl who, on the phone, spoke politely to her mom, when she was at the library
6)The girl who came to the beach and went out of her way to show me she was not interested in anything but my way
7)The woman with the sweet smile, and blue eyes.All these women did something that has never happened to me with women...without a word, they showed either their interest or how easy it was for them to pick out my mood... something even I could not do, since I almost always live inside my head, and, like a person who lives for war, mostly re-act before I even think about WHY I am doing something, as far as interaction with people is concerned.But, I have to take my hat, literally,[by that I mean I reveal my thoughts] off to three OTHER women, who have HEARD what I have to say, been in a position to blast me off, laugh at me...but did not.And they are all three, related.
1) The first is Nicky?... I do not KNOW if it is her name, but it probably is...the explanation is too long, and requires time of its own.
2)The second I wrote about on Monday,and that is her sister...well she has to be, because she is a dead-ringer for Butt-Head; I suppose I must call him 'Mathews?', because somebody said, when he came the first time to hunt me down, that he caklled himself 'Matthews-something-or-the-other'.
3) The third deserves a long explanation,but i will keep it short, because all I really SAW was that, on Monday, after my post, as i was walking back to Simonstown, this car that Michelle used to track me down with driove past, headed in the opposite direction. Michelle was not at the wheel, but this other lady was, and although I did not turn my head, and she did not have But- I mean Matthews? nose, (thank God), I concluded that she must be his mother. Now, I am easy, and after thinking that she would not leave the task of confronting me to herself if hubby was around, realised that he probably was not around...hopefully dead, or whatever, and anyway, I was already pre-disposed towards her because of the no laughter thing, and taking her and her two daughters would so irritate the little butt-head that I would probably let him live just so that he could be mortally offended, ALTHOUGH I would kill him if he did not live in Zimbabwe, so, I decided that I would take it up with God, wondering if He had aught to say against the decision to take three women like that, and I waited the customary three days before concluding that He had said nothing AGAINST it, and I was not worried.
So, these are the ten. Definitely.
Now, they better make their ways to me while I am still in a good mood!
