So, I am asked why I am still around, and I then ask God what I am still doing here and He says, "Tell them the source of the cloud that does not bear water", and it is in the hope that once that is DONE, I actually get to leave, and things start happening...which may not be such a good thing for some.
When God came around into my life, it was impossible to NOT make things about Him personal, because, if I had only been TOLD about Him, I would inevitably have sidestepped the whole issue and just kept minding my own business, but His approach made me, albeit unwillingly and without choice; concerned.
Then with the unmistakable interest of The Holy Spirit, and his...or its...meritorious approach to everything to do with me, my participation was, again, guaran-damn-teed, so, after expending lots of energy being fruitlessly angry and bitter, I had to find out just what was afoot.
And so I put God, The Holy Spirit and Christ ...the devil was small fry; the worst kind of enemies are the ones that pose as friends...under the spotlight, and was dismayed when, the more I tried to study God Himself, the more He revealed things about my future - as certain.
Like the "he was not, for God took him" vision, where the quotation was directly from the line on Enoch.
I studied this Enoch character, who walked with God, and came to the conclusion that his reward was not so much a reward as a backhanded slap; the guy was better than the people around him, and God saw that, but he was not the best, which is why God made a distinction, but let him go.
I said, NO way. I will not have THAT. If I am lacking in something, I would rather NOT be used as an example of someone who, like even Noah, was an example of someone better than any in his generation, only for God to later say, as of Daniel, Job and Moses in one of the prophets, "though they stand before Me, I will not let them intercede for this people", meaning they each individually lacked something that God was looking for, something He expected, since for the Almighty, [Whose eyes are indeed open to all our frailities and possibilities] to be disappointed, it means that whatever it is that He expects of people is POSSIBLE.
The point is, I guess, I wanted to find out just what He wanted so I could do it so I would not be an example.
I wanted to be the best, the last, the one who would have no one else better than him for God to long for.
I did not want to disappoint God, then, because with Him it was love at first encounter, but on my part it was like, well, so You have come, and You can see, and You know I am high maintenance and zero tolerance, so, I will give my all, but only if I am convinced that You Yourself have stopped looking, and I am IT as far as You looking for The Man is concerned.
If not, then my apologies, Most High God, but I would rather die than be used as a landmark, another historic figure that tales will be told about, after i am gone.
God called me His Best Friend, and while at the time it seemed rather a dense distinction, because I was still focused on this 'he was not, for God took him' vision, I have come to realise that God was actually giving me a choice; I could live as a coward, as Christ did who came as a sheep to his disciples, hid his true colours and waited till after the ascension to then 'put Peter in his place' [Read opening chapters of Acts, or final chapters of John] or I could say what I mean, and mean what I say, and let the opinions of people go hang for all I care... and I would not have to go away, because God did not design The Man and his soul, to die.
So, I have been steadily going through all the things that make me unhappy, and as the list has been growing, I have realised one other thing... I hate talking about God.
Because talking about Him means I draw people's attention to Him, and lose my own identity. I love God, yes, but i am not inclined towards sharing Him with others. My beef has been that I wanted to know what His prerogatives are, and, so that He does not rain on my parade, fulfill my obligations, and THEN provide a United front AGAINST the world, so that no one would ever have the nerve to say, "I will appeal to God".
And curiously enough, God is low maintenance. He only wants the man not to imagine that there is anything that He can not do, wants the man to have dominion, by being what He intended the original man to be, and, by basically designing life and living on earth the way he see fit, and God is pleased.
That simple.
Of course, it means, NOT making women a priority, as if one can not live without a certain woman. There are plenty of women worldwide, and...here I will be blunt... I know that women THINK, and can speak, and all that, but I have never listened to what they say, or want, because being reasonable and attentive to them is not high on my list of priorities [paying attention to the woman got Adam handed his death sentence, because he lost his lordship, and God SAID, 'the day you eat of the fruit you will die' and when he did eat, God later told him,'because you have listened to the voice of the woman... you are but dust'; he had lost the 'helper', the God-likeness that made him immortal and above everything else on earth]
So, what I am saying is, I am out to make this world better for ME to live in, because the ignominy of knowing that I could have done better but did not because I wanted to be friedly with people for whom I have no time, and turned away from God to do so...well, that does not sit well with me.
After all, all I have is my pride, and if I let that be bruised, then what does that leave me.
I have always longed to go all out at something worthwhile, and as far as I am concerned, this is it.
The Man has arrived.
Now, hopefully, God will send a flood to those places, and I can go, and start using my hands, and tearing all control from the hands of all those who think it is theirs to keep
When God came around into my life, it was impossible to NOT make things about Him personal, because, if I had only been TOLD about Him, I would inevitably have sidestepped the whole issue and just kept minding my own business, but His approach made me, albeit unwillingly and without choice; concerned.
Then with the unmistakable interest of The Holy Spirit, and his...or its...meritorious approach to everything to do with me, my participation was, again, guaran-damn-teed, so, after expending lots of energy being fruitlessly angry and bitter, I had to find out just what was afoot.
And so I put God, The Holy Spirit and Christ ...the devil was small fry; the worst kind of enemies are the ones that pose as friends...under the spotlight, and was dismayed when, the more I tried to study God Himself, the more He revealed things about my future - as certain.
Like the "he was not, for God took him" vision, where the quotation was directly from the line on Enoch.
I studied this Enoch character, who walked with God, and came to the conclusion that his reward was not so much a reward as a backhanded slap; the guy was better than the people around him, and God saw that, but he was not the best, which is why God made a distinction, but let him go.
I said, NO way. I will not have THAT. If I am lacking in something, I would rather NOT be used as an example of someone who, like even Noah, was an example of someone better than any in his generation, only for God to later say, as of Daniel, Job and Moses in one of the prophets, "though they stand before Me, I will not let them intercede for this people", meaning they each individually lacked something that God was looking for, something He expected, since for the Almighty, [Whose eyes are indeed open to all our frailities and possibilities] to be disappointed, it means that whatever it is that He expects of people is POSSIBLE.
The point is, I guess, I wanted to find out just what He wanted so I could do it so I would not be an example.
I wanted to be the best, the last, the one who would have no one else better than him for God to long for.
I did not want to disappoint God, then, because with Him it was love at first encounter, but on my part it was like, well, so You have come, and You can see, and You know I am high maintenance and zero tolerance, so, I will give my all, but only if I am convinced that You Yourself have stopped looking, and I am IT as far as You looking for The Man is concerned.
If not, then my apologies, Most High God, but I would rather die than be used as a landmark, another historic figure that tales will be told about, after i am gone.
God called me His Best Friend, and while at the time it seemed rather a dense distinction, because I was still focused on this 'he was not, for God took him' vision, I have come to realise that God was actually giving me a choice; I could live as a coward, as Christ did who came as a sheep to his disciples, hid his true colours and waited till after the ascension to then 'put Peter in his place' [Read opening chapters of Acts, or final chapters of John] or I could say what I mean, and mean what I say, and let the opinions of people go hang for all I care... and I would not have to go away, because God did not design The Man and his soul, to die.
So, I have been steadily going through all the things that make me unhappy, and as the list has been growing, I have realised one other thing... I hate talking about God.
Because talking about Him means I draw people's attention to Him, and lose my own identity. I love God, yes, but i am not inclined towards sharing Him with others. My beef has been that I wanted to know what His prerogatives are, and, so that He does not rain on my parade, fulfill my obligations, and THEN provide a United front AGAINST the world, so that no one would ever have the nerve to say, "I will appeal to God".
And curiously enough, God is low maintenance. He only wants the man not to imagine that there is anything that He can not do, wants the man to have dominion, by being what He intended the original man to be, and, by basically designing life and living on earth the way he see fit, and God is pleased.
That simple.
Of course, it means, NOT making women a priority, as if one can not live without a certain woman. There are plenty of women worldwide, and...here I will be blunt... I know that women THINK, and can speak, and all that, but I have never listened to what they say, or want, because being reasonable and attentive to them is not high on my list of priorities [paying attention to the woman got Adam handed his death sentence, because he lost his lordship, and God SAID, 'the day you eat of the fruit you will die' and when he did eat, God later told him,'because you have listened to the voice of the woman... you are but dust'; he had lost the 'helper', the God-likeness that made him immortal and above everything else on earth]
So, what I am saying is, I am out to make this world better for ME to live in, because the ignominy of knowing that I could have done better but did not because I wanted to be friedly with people for whom I have no time, and turned away from God to do so...well, that does not sit well with me.
After all, all I have is my pride, and if I let that be bruised, then what does that leave me.
I have always longed to go all out at something worthwhile, and as far as I am concerned, this is it.
The Man has arrived.
Now, hopefully, God will send a flood to those places, and I can go, and start using my hands, and tearing all control from the hands of all those who think it is theirs to keep
