Which should be the signal that The Maverick is about to get busy...and become the single most destructive force the world has ever seen, because I am NOW getting off my ass and DOING something about stuff...
The Holy Spirit got it wrong as far as I am concerned, because there was a time when he showed just how ignorant he was of what I was, and gave the game away by trying to reason away my stance on this girl Paula, and act as if he knew more than I did, and then concluded, paradoxically, " for God is a God of thin violence", confirming that God saw Himself as irrevocably linked to every act of mine...which meant he must have asked God just why I was backtracking, and God had responded, "I am a God of thin violence", and the silly interfering idiot decided that he would let me know why I was not doing anything, and yet did not understand that when he did that, he was actually saying that what I DO, everytime, has God as the motive power.
This was all the confirmation I needed to STOP trying to die, because I had made up my mind NOT to have anything to do with anyone or anything if someone else other than God had direct access. It went without saying, even up to now, that only God understands me, and those who do not understand me try to control me, and that means everyone, but only God has the real power, so, I was hesitant about venturing forth unless I knew that God would not let me be controlled by anyone or anything. And He confirmed it, in the most obvious way, by giving me unlimited control, so that no one will be above me, no creation of God will have any rule over me...which means, actually, what I say goes, and THAT is what The Holy Spirit did not grasp.
I owe Paula this much: because of her I stopped looking at women as mere baggage, which is why she has...sentimental value.
I owe Michelle this much: because of her I started looking at women as being well, worth having around, to fuss over, so she has sentimental value as well.
But neither her, nor Paula, were the reasons why I decided to get off my ass. It was another woman, and it was HER ass that got me moving. That got me to stop being a mere spectator and started me off.
But, let me not lose count. Where was I...yes, number 18.
18) Her name is, as I said yesterday, Anahi Fissori, and she sent me a friend request on facebook last year, and she was extremely provocative...with nude pictures and the works. Apparently she and some of her friends were part of this sex ring and they decided to advertise on facebook, and made waves before they were banned. What she was appealed to my libido, and at the same time my analytical mind was trying to find out just why an obviously sexy girl like her was selling herslf so short when it was quite plain that she could be gainfully employed elsewhere. It was not like she NEEDED to do it, she did not have the "aura" about her of desperation that goes with prostitutes; it was more like she was punishing herself, and...wel, I told her that it was a pity I was not in Jo'burg, otherwise I would have been very interested in getting to know her...in detail.
It had NOT occured to me then that women needed looking after, or that sex could be anything other than a means of bringing women down.
But I knew that I would have enjoyed doing it with her...if her head was screwed on right first. Hell, the girl, even now as I see her in my mind's eye, was hot...and soo young. And so very hot!
19) She is the married librarian. The reason I no longer go to Simonstown library. Now SHE is not slim, nor is she young, but what she has she carries well. I liked what I saw...till I saw the wedding ring. Then I started focusing on the ring. My mind told me that she was off limits, but I stared anyway, because, paradoxically, the ring, the way it fitted in with her golden skin, made me more aware of everything about her, her fingers, her body, her shape, and I must have undressed her with my eyes everyday, so much so that I was unaware that she was feeling it till one day when I decided to get busy she came and stood in front of me and pretended to be searching for a book just so that I could get my daily dose of her. I was stunned of course, because to me it meant nothing...or so I thought. Till I realised that I'm answerable to no one, so I may as well be judge and jury, and take her for myself.
But she is not the one. Because, as I am stressing, God is a God of thing violence, so I am a person of thin violence. She also needed something to get THROUGH to her head before I could accept her. I will have to explain that tomorrow, about the violence thing.
20) Now she IS the one. I do not know her name, and when I saw her on Sunday, at the beach, Long Beach, in Simonstown, I wanted to bury my head in the sand, and I passed by after the briefest of glances, and I was relieved when I walked back to see that she had donned a diving suit and she was asking the guys just off this motor-boat how visibility was. Her voice sounded very confident, and the "good" thing about the suit was that is covered what I had seen...and had no idea I had been searching for.
Now, it is a well-known fact that girls who, are not so slim want to wear tight things to disguise the shape of the very significant part of their antomy...the waist.
She was definitely not slim. But she had THE WAIST. And no two ways about it, she was old enough to have thickened, but she had not, and the flare from the waist to the very pronounced ass was so breathtaking I found myself going, "hell no!", and the funny thing was, she was wearing a high cut pair of jeans, which should have but did not mask her outline.
She is why I decided to be a bully, especially as I saw the body language of her two escorts.
The Holy Spirit got it wrong as far as I am concerned, because there was a time when he showed just how ignorant he was of what I was, and gave the game away by trying to reason away my stance on this girl Paula, and act as if he knew more than I did, and then concluded, paradoxically, " for God is a God of thin violence", confirming that God saw Himself as irrevocably linked to every act of mine...which meant he must have asked God just why I was backtracking, and God had responded, "I am a God of thin violence", and the silly interfering idiot decided that he would let me know why I was not doing anything, and yet did not understand that when he did that, he was actually saying that what I DO, everytime, has God as the motive power.
This was all the confirmation I needed to STOP trying to die, because I had made up my mind NOT to have anything to do with anyone or anything if someone else other than God had direct access. It went without saying, even up to now, that only God understands me, and those who do not understand me try to control me, and that means everyone, but only God has the real power, so, I was hesitant about venturing forth unless I knew that God would not let me be controlled by anyone or anything. And He confirmed it, in the most obvious way, by giving me unlimited control, so that no one will be above me, no creation of God will have any rule over me...which means, actually, what I say goes, and THAT is what The Holy Spirit did not grasp.
I owe Paula this much: because of her I stopped looking at women as mere baggage, which is why she has...sentimental value.
I owe Michelle this much: because of her I started looking at women as being well, worth having around, to fuss over, so she has sentimental value as well.
But neither her, nor Paula, were the reasons why I decided to get off my ass. It was another woman, and it was HER ass that got me moving. That got me to stop being a mere spectator and started me off.
But, let me not lose count. Where was I...yes, number 18.
18) Her name is, as I said yesterday, Anahi Fissori, and she sent me a friend request on facebook last year, and she was extremely provocative...with nude pictures and the works. Apparently she and some of her friends were part of this sex ring and they decided to advertise on facebook, and made waves before they were banned. What she was appealed to my libido, and at the same time my analytical mind was trying to find out just why an obviously sexy girl like her was selling herslf so short when it was quite plain that she could be gainfully employed elsewhere. It was not like she NEEDED to do it, she did not have the "aura" about her of desperation that goes with prostitutes; it was more like she was punishing herself, and...wel, I told her that it was a pity I was not in Jo'burg, otherwise I would have been very interested in getting to know her...in detail.
It had NOT occured to me then that women needed looking after, or that sex could be anything other than a means of bringing women down.
But I knew that I would have enjoyed doing it with her...if her head was screwed on right first. Hell, the girl, even now as I see her in my mind's eye, was hot...and soo young. And so very hot!
19) She is the married librarian. The reason I no longer go to Simonstown library. Now SHE is not slim, nor is she young, but what she has she carries well. I liked what I saw...till I saw the wedding ring. Then I started focusing on the ring. My mind told me that she was off limits, but I stared anyway, because, paradoxically, the ring, the way it fitted in with her golden skin, made me more aware of everything about her, her fingers, her body, her shape, and I must have undressed her with my eyes everyday, so much so that I was unaware that she was feeling it till one day when I decided to get busy she came and stood in front of me and pretended to be searching for a book just so that I could get my daily dose of her. I was stunned of course, because to me it meant nothing...or so I thought. Till I realised that I'm answerable to no one, so I may as well be judge and jury, and take her for myself.
But she is not the one. Because, as I am stressing, God is a God of thing violence, so I am a person of thin violence. She also needed something to get THROUGH to her head before I could accept her. I will have to explain that tomorrow, about the violence thing.
20) Now she IS the one. I do not know her name, and when I saw her on Sunday, at the beach, Long Beach, in Simonstown, I wanted to bury my head in the sand, and I passed by after the briefest of glances, and I was relieved when I walked back to see that she had donned a diving suit and she was asking the guys just off this motor-boat how visibility was. Her voice sounded very confident, and the "good" thing about the suit was that is covered what I had seen...and had no idea I had been searching for.
Now, it is a well-known fact that girls who, are not so slim want to wear tight things to disguise the shape of the very significant part of their antomy...the waist.
She was definitely not slim. But she had THE WAIST. And no two ways about it, she was old enough to have thickened, but she had not, and the flare from the waist to the very pronounced ass was so breathtaking I found myself going, "hell no!", and the funny thing was, she was wearing a high cut pair of jeans, which should have but did not mask her outline.
She is why I decided to be a bully, especially as I saw the body language of her two escorts.
