... bur, when all is said and done, it IS the ONLY way to solve my biggest problem, and it is the only way to actually "obey" God, and finally, put the "who is in charge" question to rest, both for myself and for...everyone else.
For some, the authority will be permanent, but for others, it will be a transition from ... but, let me not speak in riddles. I will be plain, because I find I can no longer run from THIS.
When I said to God, "I lay my life before You, to do just as You please" I was just appreciating at the moment that He had looked at me, and, unlike pretty much everyone else at the time, had not been repulsed, but had actually drawn neven closer.
You have no idea just how great it felt to be liked, not to mention loved, especially by the One Who could have just passed by and gone to greener pastures.
But, you see, my offering my life to God was actually a double edged sword, because i was saying also, "give me control to do exactly as I please so that everyone will know that You alone are God, in everything, from the basics of life to the highest reaches of society or whatever".
He accepted, and I was unaware of the implications of my decisions until I started wondering why no one ever called me out about my arbitrary decisions, why I seened to have everyone running for the hills and never got faced down by anyone...and why nobody ever had the guts to do what I thought would be obvious to shake me off.
It was because, when I am not paying attention to my own insignificance, I naturally rule, I boss people around and I am used to just having my way... and the honest truth is that I was unaware of it all, till I realised just this past night that my deciding to walk away for Michelle was a death blow for her, in a way, and that I had asked her to do something that I would have had no trouble doing in her shoes, but which she could not do because she was not me, and I had projected what would have been my reaction onto her, when in effect, NOBODY can do what I do, except me, because I am a living, breathing, talking god, and it shows in everything I do.
I of course had trouble grasping this. I went down to God's word, where for example He said, "Come, let us reason together..." the first time He used the words "to get her", and Im pointed out to Him that He had said 'reason', and I had tried it with people, even with the women, and it was NOT working.
I got the LOOK.
So I looked again, and grasped that He had said I should reason with HIM so that I could "get her".
After pointing out about the sins and stuff [and what is sin but a willful denial of self?], He says, "If you are willing and obedient, you shall eat the good of the land", and so, I had to say, "Ok Father, so I will put on the mantle of authority and become a despot, literally, so that I can provide the covering that is necessary for the women to come out of their shells and become my "children" so to speak, and if, as a side effect, people actually get to find out that You alone are the All-Powerful, AND I break the hold of Christ and The Holy Spirit over the people, and cut them all down to size, then so be it. I am NOT going to abandon someone who looked twice at me, simply because I will not be what I really am...even though it may sound preposterous"
So there we are people. I am officially the world's greatest, and that means I dominate, and that means I do as I please, which is a good thing, because,
1) I am very interested in women, and there are some women who have tried to get me to get them out of their traps and I would not because it seemed they were out to use me when in effect they were just responding to my authoritative nature, and gravitating towrds me. I have decided to do something about THAT.
2)I am also very intolerant, and I have been executing judgement and vengeance on people, but in an underhanded way, not coming out in the open, because I was daring people to do something to me. Nobody ever will, unfortunately, because, as I said, nobody is ME. I would have responded to the challenges I laid out, but no one is crazy enough to try to take me on my own turf, so I'm officially retiring from the "chicken" game.
Which, of course, leaves me with a lot of unresolved issues. Now, I will be frank. I was thinking I could find just ONE person who could be my equal, my complement, but there is none, and I have found women, and these have each either been let downs or they have each shown a glimpse of beauty, with a lot of mud included that I have more or less summarily rejected every one of them...till I found out that I was looking at things the wrong way.
The term "husband" means one who looks after, and so, the point in having women is to have some to "groom", and to rule over, as God pointed to the woman, after the Eden debacle.
Now, the ONE mistake I will not allow a woman to make is to overlook me and look to God, because God unequivocally stated that the man would rule the woman, and so, I intend to do just that, and rule. In fact, I will be blunt, I can ONLY rule. I am not democratic.
So, Michelle is seriously in trouble with me, because I do not need permission nor do I need to discuss things with her. I command her to get rid of the things that irritate me and stop being a mother, or tied to her ex, and THEN give a good accounting of herself, so that I can mete out the proper punishment.
But then, I am not using her as a whipping post. Actually, I do not much value any woman, because even those who have no kids are not virgins, just clever and they are all so misinformed by this "equality of the sexes" nonsense they think it is OK to go 50-50 with a man on decision making.
So, well, that stops, I hate having squabbles. I will just lay down the law and expect obedience. It is not too bad, actually. Either I am obeyed and the woman gets to live forever with me, or she goes her way and dies, becaoming "but dust"
Think about it, people. Then you will see that it is a no brainer. No shame, no exposure and no being left to some scavenging riffraff who want to get the leftovers, and make a woman suffer for daring to have hope, and lets face it, I offer hope, true hope, without the hard things like having to be a parent.
Of course, THOSE other ten I am keeping, and I will definitely add more. After all, there is a lot more of me than 11 women can contain.
For some, the authority will be permanent, but for others, it will be a transition from ... but, let me not speak in riddles. I will be plain, because I find I can no longer run from THIS.
When I said to God, "I lay my life before You, to do just as You please" I was just appreciating at the moment that He had looked at me, and, unlike pretty much everyone else at the time, had not been repulsed, but had actually drawn neven closer.
You have no idea just how great it felt to be liked, not to mention loved, especially by the One Who could have just passed by and gone to greener pastures.
But, you see, my offering my life to God was actually a double edged sword, because i was saying also, "give me control to do exactly as I please so that everyone will know that You alone are God, in everything, from the basics of life to the highest reaches of society or whatever".
He accepted, and I was unaware of the implications of my decisions until I started wondering why no one ever called me out about my arbitrary decisions, why I seened to have everyone running for the hills and never got faced down by anyone...and why nobody ever had the guts to do what I thought would be obvious to shake me off.
It was because, when I am not paying attention to my own insignificance, I naturally rule, I boss people around and I am used to just having my way... and the honest truth is that I was unaware of it all, till I realised just this past night that my deciding to walk away for Michelle was a death blow for her, in a way, and that I had asked her to do something that I would have had no trouble doing in her shoes, but which she could not do because she was not me, and I had projected what would have been my reaction onto her, when in effect, NOBODY can do what I do, except me, because I am a living, breathing, talking god, and it shows in everything I do.
I of course had trouble grasping this. I went down to God's word, where for example He said, "Come, let us reason together..." the first time He used the words "to get her", and Im pointed out to Him that He had said 'reason', and I had tried it with people, even with the women, and it was NOT working.
I got the LOOK.
So I looked again, and grasped that He had said I should reason with HIM so that I could "get her".
After pointing out about the sins and stuff [and what is sin but a willful denial of self?], He says, "If you are willing and obedient, you shall eat the good of the land", and so, I had to say, "Ok Father, so I will put on the mantle of authority and become a despot, literally, so that I can provide the covering that is necessary for the women to come out of their shells and become my "children" so to speak, and if, as a side effect, people actually get to find out that You alone are the All-Powerful, AND I break the hold of Christ and The Holy Spirit over the people, and cut them all down to size, then so be it. I am NOT going to abandon someone who looked twice at me, simply because I will not be what I really am...even though it may sound preposterous"
So there we are people. I am officially the world's greatest, and that means I dominate, and that means I do as I please, which is a good thing, because,
1) I am very interested in women, and there are some women who have tried to get me to get them out of their traps and I would not because it seemed they were out to use me when in effect they were just responding to my authoritative nature, and gravitating towrds me. I have decided to do something about THAT.
2)I am also very intolerant, and I have been executing judgement and vengeance on people, but in an underhanded way, not coming out in the open, because I was daring people to do something to me. Nobody ever will, unfortunately, because, as I said, nobody is ME. I would have responded to the challenges I laid out, but no one is crazy enough to try to take me on my own turf, so I'm officially retiring from the "chicken" game.
Which, of course, leaves me with a lot of unresolved issues. Now, I will be frank. I was thinking I could find just ONE person who could be my equal, my complement, but there is none, and I have found women, and these have each either been let downs or they have each shown a glimpse of beauty, with a lot of mud included that I have more or less summarily rejected every one of them...till I found out that I was looking at things the wrong way.
The term "husband" means one who looks after, and so, the point in having women is to have some to "groom", and to rule over, as God pointed to the woman, after the Eden debacle.
Now, the ONE mistake I will not allow a woman to make is to overlook me and look to God, because God unequivocally stated that the man would rule the woman, and so, I intend to do just that, and rule. In fact, I will be blunt, I can ONLY rule. I am not democratic.
So, Michelle is seriously in trouble with me, because I do not need permission nor do I need to discuss things with her. I command her to get rid of the things that irritate me and stop being a mother, or tied to her ex, and THEN give a good accounting of herself, so that I can mete out the proper punishment.
But then, I am not using her as a whipping post. Actually, I do not much value any woman, because even those who have no kids are not virgins, just clever and they are all so misinformed by this "equality of the sexes" nonsense they think it is OK to go 50-50 with a man on decision making.
So, well, that stops, I hate having squabbles. I will just lay down the law and expect obedience. It is not too bad, actually. Either I am obeyed and the woman gets to live forever with me, or she goes her way and dies, becaoming "but dust"
Think about it, people. Then you will see that it is a no brainer. No shame, no exposure and no being left to some scavenging riffraff who want to get the leftovers, and make a woman suffer for daring to have hope, and lets face it, I offer hope, true hope, without the hard things like having to be a parent.
Of course, THOSE other ten I am keeping, and I will definitely add more. After all, there is a lot more of me than 11 women can contain.
