I will be honest, I was wondering what all the fuss was, all along, about women and stuff, and NOT about the things I thought mattered most to God, like
Hear ye, O Israel, YHWH your God, is One, and you shall worship Him... and Him only shall you serve
Because, you see, some fifteen years or so ago, when I got my first one-on-One encounter with Him, it was 'evident' that He had shown up so that I could not keep myself under the net, but stand up and give Him 'due homage'
It never occured to me that I had just met One Who never has any time to waste, and Who, if He had meant 'business' with me, would have gotten straight to the point.
That He had not should have alerted me, but it was not till a few minutes ago that the 'obvious' explanation occured.I realised what He had meant when, as I was struggling to try to convince Obama to let me come to the US so I could do something I was not really inclined to do, He had said, 'you deserve the glory', and I thought that meant He was being cynical; that I was brushing Him off and trying to show myself as something, when in effect He was saying I should do what I enjoyed, not what I thought I ought to do, as though God was there to make my life miserable, to make me pay for not everytime 'sharing' with others about just how GREAT He is.
because, you see, to me it is obvious; if someone can not see how BIG God is, then nothing I say would convince him/her otherwise.
Anyway, as I was sitting outside, waiting for the library to open, I was thinking of how, twelve years ago, my blood had nearly frozen when, in the midst of turmoil, I had this vision.
There I was, in a place that could have been a theatre, on stage dancing, shaking my body side to side vigorously, and there were some people with me, and someone was sitting watching the performance, and I was watching all this;myself and the person, and the person seated had someone point me out to ...that person... and say, "he was not, for God took him", and that was that.
Now, being a pessimistic person, I worked out that dancing and shaking the head and body meant some 'violent' denial, and I, all these years, thought that to mean God would, despite my protests, MAKE me serve Him, and then REWARD me, regardless of how I felt about it.
Also, some years ago, I think about the same time, or a year later, I had this other vision, where a guy with a full beard, rode a donkey...black of course... and he approached with a ponderous, mesmerising and steady advance towards me, and underneath that menacing vision were the words, "behold your king cometh".
So, one can see just what I have had to put up with over the years, and the fear I have lived with that some day God would break me, and I would be an 'acceptable" vessel for His use.
But its the 'details' that make the difference.
Because, you see, last year, after I started stopping running away from God; I was riveted to this one statement that I had received the year before that: "September 18: Independence Day", and THAT day, I was in church with Michelle, and guess what; they still held church in this old movie-house at the Navy-Dockyards.
God was telling me, long before-hand, that HE was snatching me away from the power of...unsavoury... women.
That it mattered so much to Him, not that I did anything, but that I just BE.
Now, this woman, Michelle, I have told you, bothered me from day one, and I tried ignoring her, and REALLY tried to fob her off, but she was dead set on bringing me down. I remember the day I actually insulted her to her face, asking her, after she had told me she was divorced, what she had FIRST thought the day she first met her now ex husband.
She replied that she had thought he was fat and ugly and had a pony-tail.
Then I asked her why she had married him then, and she replied with the classical excuse:
because she thought they had a mission for God.
I asked her about the make-up she put on; why she did so, was it not to attract men, and she blushed...but still insisted on having her say; that she was 'looking for a strong man', and the way she said it got my blood boiling. She actually bunched her hands into fists, like someone holding the reins of a horse, as she said that, and I said to myself; THATS IT! I am going to make you pay for that!
Less than three days later, but twelve years earlier, or a few months earlier, take your pick; God put a stop to THAT, and instead showed me that there existed ten women, seven and three, that would, at FIRST GLANCE, and without any cords or reins, uphold the fact that... as, another reggae musician put it [on another Diwali song]
mongrel coulda never compare to pedigree.
Hear ye, O Israel, YHWH your God, is One, and you shall worship Him... and Him only shall you serve
Because, you see, some fifteen years or so ago, when I got my first one-on-One encounter with Him, it was 'evident' that He had shown up so that I could not keep myself under the net, but stand up and give Him 'due homage'
It never occured to me that I had just met One Who never has any time to waste, and Who, if He had meant 'business' with me, would have gotten straight to the point.
That He had not should have alerted me, but it was not till a few minutes ago that the 'obvious' explanation occured.I realised what He had meant when, as I was struggling to try to convince Obama to let me come to the US so I could do something I was not really inclined to do, He had said, 'you deserve the glory', and I thought that meant He was being cynical; that I was brushing Him off and trying to show myself as something, when in effect He was saying I should do what I enjoyed, not what I thought I ought to do, as though God was there to make my life miserable, to make me pay for not everytime 'sharing' with others about just how GREAT He is.
because, you see, to me it is obvious; if someone can not see how BIG God is, then nothing I say would convince him/her otherwise.
Anyway, as I was sitting outside, waiting for the library to open, I was thinking of how, twelve years ago, my blood had nearly frozen when, in the midst of turmoil, I had this vision.
There I was, in a place that could have been a theatre, on stage dancing, shaking my body side to side vigorously, and there were some people with me, and someone was sitting watching the performance, and I was watching all this;myself and the person, and the person seated had someone point me out to ...that person... and say, "he was not, for God took him", and that was that.
Now, being a pessimistic person, I worked out that dancing and shaking the head and body meant some 'violent' denial, and I, all these years, thought that to mean God would, despite my protests, MAKE me serve Him, and then REWARD me, regardless of how I felt about it.
Also, some years ago, I think about the same time, or a year later, I had this other vision, where a guy with a full beard, rode a donkey...black of course... and he approached with a ponderous, mesmerising and steady advance towards me, and underneath that menacing vision were the words, "behold your king cometh".
So, one can see just what I have had to put up with over the years, and the fear I have lived with that some day God would break me, and I would be an 'acceptable" vessel for His use.
But its the 'details' that make the difference.
Because, you see, last year, after I started stopping running away from God; I was riveted to this one statement that I had received the year before that: "September 18: Independence Day", and THAT day, I was in church with Michelle, and guess what; they still held church in this old movie-house at the Navy-Dockyards.
God was telling me, long before-hand, that HE was snatching me away from the power of...unsavoury... women.
That it mattered so much to Him, not that I did anything, but that I just BE.
Now, this woman, Michelle, I have told you, bothered me from day one, and I tried ignoring her, and REALLY tried to fob her off, but she was dead set on bringing me down. I remember the day I actually insulted her to her face, asking her, after she had told me she was divorced, what she had FIRST thought the day she first met her now ex husband.
She replied that she had thought he was fat and ugly and had a pony-tail.
Then I asked her why she had married him then, and she replied with the classical excuse:
because she thought they had a mission for God.
I asked her about the make-up she put on; why she did so, was it not to attract men, and she blushed...but still insisted on having her say; that she was 'looking for a strong man', and the way she said it got my blood boiling. She actually bunched her hands into fists, like someone holding the reins of a horse, as she said that, and I said to myself; THATS IT! I am going to make you pay for that!
Less than three days later, but twelve years earlier, or a few months earlier, take your pick; God put a stop to THAT, and instead showed me that there existed ten women, seven and three, that would, at FIRST GLANCE, and without any cords or reins, uphold the fact that... as, another reggae musician put it [on another Diwali song]
mongrel coulda never compare to pedigree.
